3 Things You Can Do Today to Lean In to a Child Led Approach
The concept of a child led approach is simple yet powerful: following the child’s lead, trusting their instincts, and meeting them where they are. This philosophy isn’t just about therapy—it’s about honoring kids as whole humans and empowering them to grow, learn, and connect on their terms. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or therapist, leaning into this approach can transform your relationship with the autistic children in your life.
Here are three practical steps you can take today to embrace a child-led approach with your autistic child or students:
1. Pause and Observe
Before jumping in to guide or redirect, take a moment to pause and simply watch. What is the child gravitating toward? What are they communicating through their actions, expressions, or body language?
Observation is key to understanding what’s meaningful to our autistic students. Maybe they’re stacking blocks because they’re fascinated by patterns, or they’re lining up cars because it helps them feel calm and organized. When we observe without judgment, we gain valuable insight into their interests, needs, and emotions.
💡 Action Tip: The next time you’re with a child, take a “wait and watch” approach for at least 30 seconds. Resist the urge to step in, and instead, let them show you what they’re curious about.
🚨 Freebie Alert: This visual might be a great reminder for you and your team about the power of not immediately and automatically saying “no” before understanding the why behind our autistic students’ actions!
2. Become the Child’s Partner
Once you’ve observed their interests, lean into them! If they’re engrossed in building a tower, join them by handing them the next piece in their pattern. If they’re spinning in circles, spin alongside them. By becoming their partner, you’re showing that their choices matter and that you’re willing to honor them!
This isn’t about taking over or trying to turn the activity into a “lesson.” It’s about connection. When kids feel seen and supported, they’re more likely to engage and communicate. As a partner, your main goal is to help your child or student accomplish their goal by adding value to what they are doing. Let go of the need to control the interaction, and allow yourself to truly flow with the child as they set the tone and pace.
💡 Action Tip: Ask yourself, “How can I join in without taking control?” For example:
If they’re drawing, grab a pencil and draw your own picture next to theirs.
If they’re reaching for something on a shelf, grab it for them while modeling “let’s get it!”
🚨 Freebie Alert: This visual is another great one to hang in your office, classroom, or home as a reminder of how to best lean in to a child led approach!
3. Prioritize Joy Over Goals
While goals and data are important, we need to be careful not to put all of our emphasis on them. A child-led approach reminds us that the process is far more meaningful than the product. When we focus on joy, connection, and shared experiences, the learning happens naturally and generalizes more easily.
This might mean letting go of pre-planned activities or agendas and instead embracing the magic of the moment. If a child is happily splashing in puddles, don’t rush them along to the next thing. Let them splash! That joy they’re experiencing? It’s the foundation for trust, growth, and communication.
💡 Action Tip: The next time you’re working or playing with a child, ask yourself, “Is this about my agenda, or is this about their joy?” Then choose joy.
🚨 Freebie Alert: If you haven’t checked out our Freebie Vault, you must! It is constantly being updated and added to, so make sure you check in periodically to get access to all of our favorite freebies and resources created just for you.
Why Child-Led Matters
When we embrace a child-led approach, we’re not just supporting a child’s development—we’re building trust, fostering confidence, and showing them they’re valued exactly as they are.
The best part? These small shifts don’t require major changes. With just a little mindfulness and intention, you can start leaning into a child-led approach today.
Let’s pause. Let’s follow. Let’s celebrate joy. Because when we let kids lead, incredible things happen. 💛
