We aren’t “training” kids to communicate
During a recent team meeting for one of my autistic clients, another professional suggested:
"He loves these potato chips, so we’re not going to give them to him anymore so that you can use them in your sessions to reinforce him for using his AAC device."
My response?
"That won’t be necessary."
I don’t use reinforcers in my sessions because I believe communication should be meaningful and intrinsically motivated—not something we force or “train.”
The Problem with Using Reinforcers
Here’s the traditional mentality:
“Oh, you love these chips? Great. I’ll withhold them until you do what I want.”
“These are your favorite? I’ll break one chip into 50 pieces, so you can work for it 50 times.”
Then, we wonder why the child doesn’t want to communicate. 🤦🏻♀️
When we dangle their favorite things in front of them like a carrot on a stick, we’re not building trust. We’re creating a dynamic where:
Communication becomes a chore.
Joy is replaced with frustration.
They may even avoid interacting with us altogether.
Does that sound like the foundation for meaningful communication to you?
A Different Approach
Here’s what I do instead:
Provide Access
If my client is hungry, they can have as many chips as they need. I don’t make them perform for basic needs or joys.
Model Without Expectation
I’ll model meaningful language throughout our time together. For example, as they are reaching toward the chips, I’ll say or model on their AAC device:
“I’m hungry!”
“Let’s eat chips!”
“Chips are so crunchy!”
“These are salty. I love them!”
“Let’s eat more!”
“I’m full!” etc.
Build Connection, Not Compliance
When the bowl is empty, I’ll refill it while saying, “I’m so hungry! How about some more?”
When they’re full, we’ll move on to playing, connecting, and communicating—in whatever way is most comfortable and accessible to the child.
This approach respects the child’s autonomy and shows them that communication is meaningful—not just a task they need to complete to get a crumb of what they love.
Why This Matters
Communication can’t be trained. It’s not about “performing” to earn a reward. It’s about safety, trust, and connection.
And when we create an environment that prioritizes those things, autistic kids thrive. They feel secure enough to explore communication in ways that are meaningful to them.
Let Them Eat Chips
The bottom line is- I’m not going to make my clients “work” for their favorite things. And I won’t ask them to perform for me in order to meet their basic needs.
Because when we honor our autistic kids’ cues, their needs, and their humanity, communication stops being a task and becomes something so much more powerful.
Let’s change the way we support communication—one chip at a time.
Learn More
If you’re looking for practical strategies to support meaningful communication without using reinforcers, the Great Language Partner Workbook is your next step.
👉 Get Your Workbook Here – Discover how to connect, model, and support communication in a way that truly works.
