Boundaries in Child-Led Therapy
There’s a big misconception that child-led therapy means letting kids do whatever they want. Most people hear “child-led” and think of a passive, permissive adult following a child’s every whim!
But, as someone who has been following a child-led approach for years, I am here to assure you that that is not entirely true.
A child-led approach does not mean letting kids do whatever they want without any regard for their safety and wellbeing or the safety and wellbeing of others.
In order for child-led therapy to be effective, there needs to be boundaries in place.
The difference between these boundaries and boundaries in other approaches is that in a child-led approach, the boundaries are not for the purpose of compliance, but simply for the safety and comfort of all involved.
Boundaries in child-led speech therapy are the intentional limits or guidelines set by the therapist to create a safe, supportive, and productive environment for the child while maintaining the principles of being child-led. They ensure that therapy remains child-centered without becoming dangerous or overstimulating.
Here are some of the ways we might set boundaries in child-led speech therapy:
We create boundaries for safety.
Ensuring the child stays safe physically and emotionally during sessions is a firm boundary! We never allow kids to do something unsafe in the name of a “child-led” approach. A truly child-led approach centers the child’s safety above all!
Redirecting the child if they engage in unsafe behavior, for example, helping them get down if they’ve climbed onto a table and it isn’t safe for them to do so.
Closing doors or limiting access to areas within a space that are dangerous. For example, I have a lock on my toy closet so that my students and I enter it together, as it was becoming unsafe due to the millions of toys and shelves! I did not want anything to fall on a child, so I installed the lock to ensure that we all go in together. This is a safe boundary that does not restrict access to toys but allows for the reduction of potential harm.
Saying “no” or providing alternatives when something isn’t appropriate or feasible while validating the child’s feelings. I personally reserve “no” for moments when a child is about to do something unsafe or unsanitary, as it helps them to hear and understand the boundary.
Preventing potentially unsafe actions that could cause harm, such as mouthing small items that could be choking hazards. In these moments, I will offer something that provides the same type of input that is safe for mouthing, such as a chewy.
Following the child’s lead in play or communication preferences but offering limits when necessary (e.g., "We can’t eat the toy food, but we can pretend to eat it!").
2. We set boundaries for balance.
Child-led speech therapy should be a balance where the child takes the lead, and the therapist remains an active, engaged partner who models and scaffolds language appropriately.
We can hold boundaries around ensuring that we don’t dominate or direct the session but also ensures the session has therapeutic value.
4. Boundaries can create a balance of structure and flexibility.
Sessions can unstructured in terms of content but structured in terms of how time is managed (e.g., clear start and end to sessions, transitions between activities).
Time can also be a part of our boundaries. While the overall structure of a session (such as start and end times) remains consistent for safety, we can allow flexibility in how the session unfolds. This might mean adjusting activities based on the child’s mood or energy, which respects their autonomy while keeping essential boundaries in place.
We can establish clear boundaries on transitions (e.g. when the timer goes off, we will walk back to class together!)
5. We can set boundaries to support regulation.
We can recognize when the child is becoming dysregulated or overstimulated and set limits to help them. For example: “I see you’re feeling frustrated. Let’s take a break or do something else.” We can utilize our coregulation skills in these moments to help bring everyone back to a more regulated state.
6. Our boundaries create consistency and predictability.
Maintaining predictable routines or responses to help the child feel secure.
Reinforcing rules like, "Markers are for paper, not walls," while providing an outlet for the child’s needs (e.g., large paper for scribbling).
I have always been taught that being predictable is a form of kindness, and allows kids to feel at ease as our boundaries remain consistent. A consistent person is a safe person, especially during child-led therapy.
7. We need to know and honor our own personal boundaries.
One of my biggest boundaries revolves around my own regulation and sensory needs. By understanding my own limits, I can maintain my own regulation and energy to co-regulate effectively.
Saying “no” if the child’s requests are beyond what the therapist can reasonably provide, such as asking for something unavailable in the session. For example, it’s okay to say “no,” to a super messy activity if there’s two minutes left in the session and the timing won’t allow for cleanup.
By tuning into our own needs, we can model what it looks like to set and hold boundaries. I might say something like, “Wow, that’s too loud for my ears. I am going to walk away/put on headphones/etc.”
In child-led therapy, boundaries help the child explore and express themselves freely within a safe and therapeutic environment. They are never about control but rather about mutual respect and creating space for the child to thrive.
What are the boundaries that you hold with your child or student? Share them in the comments!
