Stop Interrupting Play: Why Autistic Kids Don’t Need Us to Force Communication

For years, professionals were taught to interrupt autistic kids’ play to get them to communicate.

The idea was that if we created a “communication temptation” by taking their toy, blocking their activity, or withholding something they wanted, they’d be motivated to request, protest, or interact.

But what if I told you that this approach doesn’t actually help build authentic communication?

What if, instead of fostering connection, it creates frustration, breaks trust, and teaches kids that communication is about compliance rather than connection?

Let’s rethink this outdated practice and explore what to do instead.

Why Interrupting Play Backfires

Imagine this: You’re organizing your books on your new book shelf in just the order that you like. Then, someone walks in and starts un-doing everything you just did.

Would you feel connected with that person? Or would you feel frustrated and confused?

When we interrupt autistic kids’ play—by taking their toys, stopping their movements, or blocking access to what they’re doing—we often see:

🚫 Frustration – The child might protest, shut down, or dysregulate.
🚫 Avoidance – Instead of engaging more, they might avoid interactions altogether.
🚫 Compliance, Not Communication – They might respond because they’ve learned that’s what’s expected, but it’s not meaningful interaction.
🚫 Broken Trust – If every time an adult joins in, they interrupt, the child may stop welcoming them into their space.

The goal of communication isn’t just getting words out of a child—it’s fostering a meaningful, safe, and trusting relationship.

And breaking into their play doesn’t do that.

What to Do Instead: Respect Play and Build Connection

Instead of interrupting play, let’s create naturally supportive opportunities for communication. Here’s how:

1️⃣ Follow Their Lead

Instead of deciding how a child should play, observe what they’re already engaged in and join in respectfully.

✅ If they’re spinning a car wheel, notice and comment:
🚗 “Spin, spin, spin!”
✅ If they’re lining up dinosaurs, you might sing:
🦖 “We are the dinosaurs, stomping, stomping!”

By joining without disrupting, you become a trusted play partner.

2️⃣ Model Language Without Demands

Rather than stopping their play to make them talk, model language in a way that enhances their experience.

🗣️ If they’re bouncing a ball, you can say:
👉 “Boing, boing, boing!”
🗣️ If they’re knocking down magnetiles, you can comment:
👉 “SMASH!”

No pressure, no demands—just rich language input that they can take in at their own pace.

3️⃣ Create Playful Pauses (Without Frustration!)

Instead of taking something away to force communication, try playful pauses.

✅ If you’re playing bubbles, blow a few and pause expectantly before blowing more.
✅ If they’re on a swing, pause briefly with a smile before pushing again as you model, “let’s go!”

This gives them an opportunity to engage without forcing them into frustration.

4️⃣ Respect Their Regulation Needs

Many autistic kids use repetitive movements or sensory play to regulate their bodies. If we interrupt these actions, we might be disrupting their sense of safety and control.

Instead of stopping their play, ask yourself:
🤔Are they engaging in this action in order to regulate?
🤔 How can I support their regulation without interfering?

By respecting their sensory needs, we create a safer space for connection and interaction.

Shifting the Mindset: From Control to Connection

If you were taught to interrupt play to encourage communication, you’re not alone. Many professionals and parents were told this was the “right” way to help autistic kids develop language.

But now we know better.

Instead of forcing communication through disruptions, we can build authentic, meaningful engagement by:

✅ Joining play instead of controlling it
✅ Modeling language without pressure
✅ Respecting a child’s sensory and regulation needs
✅ Creating trust and connection rather than frustration

Because communication isn’t about getting kids to perform—it’s about building relationships where they feel safe to express themselves.

Want More Child-Led Strategies?

Check out our freebie vault for ALL of the best, child-led supports! Click HERE to learn more.